There are so many things I have wanted to tell you, but then somehow never said.
If only I worried less about hurting you, and more about telling you the truth. Because really, even on the off chance that what I might say would make you angry,......this truth that burns in my mind and heart couldn't ever hurt you.
So listen to me, and give me a chance. I'm sorry I ever bothered to tread lightly.
You. are. immensely. worthwhile.
When I see you, I see a wonderfully alive and strong-sensitive spirit. You love much, and you struggle much, and some days you feel hopelessly lost between the two, but you're hanging on anyway. You truly love what is right, but there is a whirlpool of blackness smothering that love,... turning you angry towards it,..... making you cry out against the loss of it. Some days there is a penknife lodged in the pit of your stomach, and when you think of forgiveness, it just sinks deeper in. All of the whirlwind and scatteredness of it all leaves you exhausted and wondering why you should even care.
I recognize that in you, because I've been there. Don't reject me because my story seems different, and don't assume that I don't struggle too. Listen, by God's own definition I was once hell-bound, but by His GRACE, and His grace only, I have joy again. Maybe I can't relate in the exact way I want to. Maybe your own hurts will never sound the same as mine. But here's the truth: you and I are both human, and grace isn't partial to anyone.
You don't deserve grace? Good. Because if you did, you wouldn't need it, and you couldn't receive it.
Please, rest your mind. Sooth your heart. You are loved.
Friend. Beautiful. Priceless. Strong.
You know what is true! But somethow the message was lost in transit from your head to your heart. God's love is every bit as much for you as it is for me as it is for everyone else. It has nothing to do with your past, or what you think you are, because He doesn't look at that. What He sees is who He will make you to be, and the future He deeply wants for you.
At the very least hear this; my life is so much better because of you. I can't handle the thought of the loss of you. Your existence is a bright spot in a world full of chaos. Your smile brings joy. Your laughter is contagious. Your spirit is tangibly real and endearing. The cry of your heart is audible, and I want more than anything to see it reconciled with your joy. If I could do any one thing with my own life, I would convince you to see how beyond-words irreplaceably wanted and valued you are. The fact that you would call me friend is a privilege and a joy. But answer me this; if I, a sinful, flawed, frequently selfish and prideful human being could look at you and see worth, why couldn't the all-knowing, loving God that created you?
Rise up Child of God, and be alive again. His arms are open for you. He is waiting at the doorstep of heaven, searching the roads, ready to sprint for you at the first sight of your silhouette breaking the horizon. Don't dare doubt your worth. Don't you dare doubt the love poured out for you.
Dear Friend,..... thank you for being here. Thank you for being my friend. I know I sometimes talk a lot, and I know I mess up frequently. But thank you for listening anyway. Thank you for walking with me. You are a huge, crazy blessing, no matter what, and I speak because I care. Please know that God loves you, and your smile is an irreplaceable part of my life. :)